Properly

If you use people and manipulate them in doing for you by exploiting their kindness and need need for love then you’re a fucking arsehole.

So many times I catch myself, giving to others (because that’s my nature and it makes me happy) but then there’s this understanding that some come to believe that I SHOULD give just because I have in the past or I have the means to do so…emotionally or otherwise.

I should have the right to give love freely and lift people’s spirits without having them feel that it is my duty to do so. When you are the one giving all the time and never being refilled, it’s hard to keep yourself (emotionally/mentally) strong for your own self. I have a bad habit of giving to others even when I don’t give to myself.

If I let you in, it’s not because I need you because, I stopped needing people a long time ago. It’s because I fucking want you, crave you…that devotion is the purest feeling of all. Do with it what you want.

I am the best version of me that there is to find. Daily I change, the stronger I become the stronger you need to be to earn my submission to you, but submit I will, to the right One. To the Right One, I will belong…EVERY FUCKING INCH OF ME….the insecurities, the strengths, the curves, the rolls, the sassy, the sweet, the warmth, the soul.

You invade this void in me filling it with devotion.

As you bring me to my knees
all my intentions fall to the floor
i am yours to do with as you desire.
Bound, I am free.

please don’t release me…

Why don’t you dig a little deeper
as you look into my eyes?
You shatter all that’s left inside?

We both know this feels right…

Can you hear me when I’m quiet?
Are you listening when I yell?

I am not a mistake! I am not a consolation prize!

I am not fill-in fluff when you’re lonely. I’m not a toy you can take out of a box when you’re bored and put back on the shelf until the next time you’re available.

I am THE fucking prize. I outshine the purest gold. If you want me and my submission, fucking earn me. Don’t expect me to fall at your feet just because.

I am deserving. Hear me.

Sweet Talk and Ugly Honesty…

I’m a moody bitch. When I say “moody” I don’t mean angry or that I cry a lot, neither are true.

I mean that I’m intense. I’m intensely sensitive, intensely loving, intensely protective and I get intensely hurt. I guess I’m passionate with a side of sarky git.

I’m a big mess of feelings crammed into a mouthy, spicy little meatball.

Now I recognize that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok.

I’ve wandered this earth for a fair old while and I know I’m my own flavour. If you dislike it, then you do. I hate olives and celery.

Ok I digress…
I love making connections. It warms my cold heart to find people who care and walk their talk while at the same time, have fun banter and generally good conversation.

Now I’m not the best at small talk. I don’t loathe it. I do try. It happens but I don’t excel.

People might say “how’s it going?” and they’re looking for the sexy “oh I’m just sitting here plugged and ready” or the “I’m digging through my 500 pieces of lingerie to find the best see through piece to try on for pics” or “I’m stellar and you?”… but they get “well I’m tired because I couldn’t sleep yet again”, “my back hurts” or “I’m frustrated with work and life”.

But if you want to know the truth, I prefer that which is why I’m honest.

They might get the “I’m great! Guess what?” then a rambling story with all the giggles and eye rolls.

I like when people tell me how they are. I don’t need sweet talk to like them. Of course I love when people say nice things but only, only if they’re being honest.

Otherwise please save it.
I actually need the opposite. I need honest, ugly, gritty authenticity. I need funny, real, goofy stories. I need humility and genuineness.

Without it, I can’t open up. Without it, I have no impetus to try. Without it I’m hesitant, uncertain and skeptical.

I ask myself “what do they want from me?” and “why do they always appear gregarious, horny and giddy?”

It’s unreasonable. I don’t trust it.

I love real. So if you choose to engage with me, please bring your honest self, klutziness, embarrassing moments, sadness, hurt, elation, and happiness in all it’s fucked up beautiful glory because I simply love it!

I Loved You

I loved you without cause, or reason, or doubt.

I loved you to the edge of what my soul could endure and then I loved you just a little bit more.

I loved you beyond measure, beyond hope and beyond all sense of rationality.

I loved you until the light had gone, until the years had gone and until my tears had all but drowned me.

I loved you until it ruined me; like an ancient temple I stood, abandoned and forgotten before finally caving under the sheer weight of time. And in the end it changed nothing – all that love…

For here I was, dying for you until my spirit was weary.

And there you were, living your life.

Blissfully unaware.

YOU ARE

You are
My first thought when I wake, my want to send good morning text, my smile while I stretch, the perfect start to the rest of the day.

You are
My inspiration to write, the dirty thoughts that occupy my mind, the blush brightening my cheeks, the man behind the stories.

You are
The light in my dark, my distraction from the demons, my saviour during the long days and sleepless nights, the one who chases away the negativity.

You are
My weakness, talking to you, listening to you, feeling you, you have what I want, what I need, what I desire….to taste, smell, fuck, hold you, all of you.

You are
My teacher, your words build me up, challenge me, you invoke thought and invade my mind, you excite my soul when you speak.

You are
My refuge, from the storms, the darkness, the uncertainty, my safe place, warm embrace, kind word, my hope.

You are
My human, my friend, for a minute, a month, or forever, just grateful to have you now, in any capacity, in any form, no expectations or pressure, not worrying about tomorrow, to just breathe and laugh until it ends.

You are
A memory, a moment in time, a feeling I can’t let go, I still see you when I wake, I write about you, wish you were here so I could help you fight your demons, you are still my biggest desire, the best thing in my life, I wish I had those moments once again.

You Never Know…

One never knows when a touch
will be the last.

When combined hearts
Will be ripped apart.

The world…
Life…
Love…
Very fragile.

Be kind to one another.
Hold each other a little longer.
Give that extra kiss
Or hug a little tighter.

Be in each moment
Fully.
Time is our greatest enemy…
Defeat it.

All That She Wants…

All she wants is to feel appreciated.
All she wants is to be loved.
All she wants is to give her love to you.
All she wants is to be hugged on the hard days.
All she wants is to be told she is a good girl.

All she wants is to please you.
All she want is to know that no matter what
You her Dom, her Sadist, will support her, care for her,
Guide her, help her to become not just a good girl, and for you her Dom to help her accomplish all her goals in life, even some of those you think are silly.

Bottom line is respect, honour, love, cherish, be understanding, be patient, be caring about her needs.

I promise you that if you do
She will go above and beyond to meet your needs.

Anytime and always.

JUST A KISS

Pressed against the wall, his body leaning into mine, his hands on both sides of my face, his finger brushes my lower lip as he pulls me in.

The warmth of his breath, his smell hypnotic, leaving me somewhat dazed.

Holding my gaze for only a moment or maybe a lifetime, his lips lower to my mouth, demanding and possessive.

The taste of him silences my nerves and rambling thoughts, a subtle sigh as my mouth opens, his tongue invades the depth of my mouth, all consuming, no thought just feeling and want.

Kiss me like the world is ending, like your life depended on it.
Kiss me like I’m your last breath of air.

Kiss me good morning, good night, hello, goodbye, now, and forever💋.