Sweet Talk and Ugly Honesty…

I’m a moody bitch. When I say “moody” I don’t mean angry or that I cry a lot, neither are true.

I mean that I’m intense. I’m intensely sensitive, intensely loving, intensely protective and I get intensely hurt. I guess I’m passionate with a side of sarky git.

I’m a big mess of feelings crammed into a mouthy, spicy little meatball.

Now I recognize that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok.

I’ve wandered this earth for a fair old while and I know I’m my own flavour. If you dislike it, then you do. I hate olives and celery.

Ok I digress…
I love making connections. It warms my cold heart to find people who care and walk their talk while at the same time, have fun banter and generally good conversation.

Now I’m not the best at small talk. I don’t loathe it. I do try. It happens but I don’t excel.

People might say “how’s it going?” and they’re looking for the sexy “oh I’m just sitting here plugged and ready” or the “I’m digging through my 500 pieces of lingerie to find the best see through piece to try on for pics” or “I’m stellar and you?”… but they get “well I’m tired because I couldn’t sleep yet again”, “my back hurts” or “I’m frustrated with work and life”.

But if you want to know the truth, I prefer that which is why I’m honest.

They might get the “I’m great! Guess what?” then a rambling story with all the giggles and eye rolls.

I like when people tell me how they are. I don’t need sweet talk to like them. Of course I love when people say nice things but only, only if they’re being honest.

Otherwise please save it.
I actually need the opposite. I need honest, ugly, gritty authenticity. I need funny, real, goofy stories. I need humility and genuineness.

Without it, I can’t open up. Without it, I have no impetus to try. Without it I’m hesitant, uncertain and skeptical.

I ask myself “what do they want from me?” and “why do they always appear gregarious, horny and giddy?”

It’s unreasonable. I don’t trust it.

I love real. So if you choose to engage with me, please bring your honest self, klutziness, embarrassing moments, sadness, hurt, elation, and happiness in all it’s fucked up beautiful glory because I simply love it!