I’m literally a walking contradiction, I’ve had to be fiercely independent from a young age which over the years has made me build up this gigantic wall and never allow myself to rely on another person emotionally, financially and in general life and happiness.
On the flip side of this, I’m extremely needy, I crave affection, intimacy and love, and to be cared for when I most need it, This is where the struggle begins, how do you open yourself up to receive these things that you desire when your head won’t let you.
This contradiction is the hardest when I consider the kind of relationship that I want, how can I give myself to someone in a dynamic, how can I turn off that switch in my head to fully trust that they have my best intentions, how can I let my guard down to let them take care of me, how can you be your your most vulnerable self when you’re so used to doing it all on your own.
The struggle!! 😤
Love, Life, Broken 